Wherever we go with our daughter –
to school, to the doctor, to the theater, on his birthday, on a visit – we are late everywhere. Always start to collect in advance. If I’m not at home, then I call her, I remind her. She agrees, but does nothing. When it turns out that she is not yet ready, I can’t restrain myself and break. She does not value her time or the time of others. She is already ten, but nothing changes. I am ready to punish her, deprive her entertainment, but other parents or friends make concessions and wait for my daughter. I am inconvenient for others, I have to apologize. The daughter is also worried, but each time the same thing happens. How to change the situation?
Elizabeth, 43 years old
Elizabeth, to be a child not too organized at ten – quite natural. The ability to comply with the schedule is an important skill of growing up. Children have to take on more and more responsibility every year. On the one hand, at this age the brain changes, and this helps the child adapt to external circumstances. On the other hand, the nervous system is not yet ready to adapt to the requirements of the system: children are quickly distracted, it is difficult for them to concentrate.
The pace of development is different for everyone: someone has been collected at five, followed the time, and someone is still too mobile and forgetful at eight. I recommend that you take a test for children on ADHD (attention deficit syndrome) to determine the features of its development.
It happens that a child is difficult to follow a graphics. The reason for this may be anxieties that are not visible externally. Perhaps the daughter has other priorities: for example, she is more worried about what she is dressed in, watched a cartoon. She may not like individual classes, and therefore she delays the moment when she needs to leave the house.
If the schedule is too complicated and saturated, it can be lost in it, and therefore gather longer. The load that is acceptable to another child can be excessive for it. More often discuss these issues with her. Do not use the wording “Why are you again,” better ask what you can do to help her not be late. Try to be calmer, your negative emotions only inhibit her reactions even more. Do not blame your daughter: these are the features of her psychology and physiology.
Teach her to collect a briefcase in the evening. Perhaps absent -mindedness is a feature of its temperament. But even if the daughter never becomes a perfectionist, with your help she will be able to learn how to manage time.